Grieve losses, build tolerance.
I write these words with heaviness in my chest. Personal sadness has been a constant, yet quiet companion. Some days it is the loss of loved ones that grips me. Other days, as in today, it is the image of fiery, white-hot hatred raining from the sky and the world changed forever in minutes. And yesterday with the assassination of Charlie Kirk cutting through the public square like a cleaver. This morning, these images are bleeding into one another, shaping a much deeper grief.
What Happened
When towers fell on September 11, 2001, the world. again, bore witness to the destructive force of hatred. Thousands perished in that one morning, and yet 24 years later, the aftershocks persist. Fear now weaponized. Wars launched. Communities divided. And still, the deeper wound was not only in steel and stone, but in the human heart.
Now, with the killing of Charlie Kirk, I find myself reliving that wound in a new form. A man, only 1 of too many, silenced in a country that once claimed to protect speech and dissent. Whether you agreed with his message or not, the act itself is another reminder that anger and rage unfettered is lethal. Wounds re-opened only in a different guise.
What This Means for Us
Loss and anger are intertwined. The more we lose—innocence, leaders, neighbors, safety—the more anger bubbles up. And when we ignore what is now obvious, anger calcifies into hate. Hate of the “other.” Hate of ourselves. Hate that masquerades as justice.
Hatred is not a healer. It consumes the bodies that carry it. What we are left with is a choice: to echo the madness around us, or to adopt a stance rooted in wisdom, mercy, and courage. This is not easy. It is not popular. But it is high time that we question our posture in facing discord. Even at the most minute of interactions.
The Stance of Wisdom
Adopting a stance means refusing to be swept away by the tide of rage. It means recognizing that grief has its place—grief is holy, it is human, it is honest. Anger too has its place, for it shows us what we value and what we fear losing. But wisdom calls us not to stay there.
A stance is not apathy. It is not indifference. It is the quiet strength of saying: I will not return contempt for contempt, violence for violence, judgment for judgment. I will not let my soul be shaped by the hatred that surrounds me. Instead, I will stand in the wreckage, name the loss, and still choose kindness.
Loggerheads Without Loathing.
It is absolutely possible for people to be “at loggerheads” with each other without hating one another, especially in a personal, professional, political, or intellectual context. It requires a clear distinction between the person and their ideas, and a commitment to respectful engagement.
Distinguish the message from the minutiae.
- Allow yourself to be wrong. Allow the other to be wrong.
- Know that the other person’s perspective is shaped by their unique experiences, not by a desire to provoke you.
- It ain’t personal: Just because someone disagrees with your opinion does not mean they disrespect you as a person. You can stand your ground still respect the other’s understanding of the world.
Closing.
As I write, I know that today’s grief will not vanish by the end of these words. Yours will not either. But what we can do is stand differently in the face of it. The world is insane with hatred, yes. But we are not powerless. We can grieve without hardening. We can feel anger without bowing to rage. And we can remember that every stance we take becomes part of the story we leave behind.
For me, that stance is West of Wisdom—a place of honesty, loss, and the stubborn belief that even in madness, life is still worth living.
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