I so wish I’d have entered parenthood, well, for that matter, life itself, with this wisdom, but even more so as my children became adults, and now, as a grandparent. I love this author’s contribution to the growing community of modern Stoics who are achieving greater wellness through ancient practices.
By Meredith Alexander Kunz
One of the core principles of Stoic parenting is the recognition that our kids’ behaviors are up to them, not to us. We can guide our kids and create meaningful consequences for their actions, but in reality, children are not strictly under our control. I didn’t decide to have kids with vastly different internal clocks, for example, and I also did not choose any of my kids’ physical traits and their basic personalities and temperaments.
What you don’t know about Stoicism will surprise you.
1. Reduces stress and anxiety by focusing on what is controllable.
Stoicism teaches individuals to concentrate their energy on what is within their power to change, such as their thoughts, judgments, and actions. Letting go of what is outside of their control, such as other people’s opinions or external events, helps minimize worry and frustration. Distinguishing between what is and isn’t controllable leads to a greater sense of freedom and inner calm.
2. Enhances resilience by reframing adversity as opportunity.
Rather than viewing challenges as setbacks, Stoicism encourages people to see obstacles as opportunities for growth and self-improvement. This mindset shift enables individuals to cultivate strength and emotional fortitude, allowing them to better handle difficult situations and bounce back from adversity.
3. Fosters inner peace through mindful acceptance.
The philosophy encourages a mindful acceptance of the present moment and a willingness to embrace reality as it is. By accepting what is, instead of constantly resisting it, individuals can achieve serenity and contentment. This practice is closely related to techniques used in modern therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), which focus on acknowledging and managing reactions to events.
4. Provides purpose by aligning actions with virtue.
Stoicism emphasizes living a life guided by cardinal virtues: wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance. By aligning one’s actions with these principles, a person can find greater meaning and fulfillment. This virtue-based approach helps individuals navigate life with a clear moral compass, which can increase their sense of purpose and overall contentment.
5. Enhances emotional regulation by shifting perspective.
Stoicism helps individuals reframe their perception of events and gain a more objective perspective, preventing impulsive and destructive emotional reactions. By learning to pause and question the judgments that lead to negative feelings, a person can respond with reason and wisdom instead of instinct. For example, the “View from Above” technique encourages people to see their lives from a cosmic perspective, which helps diminish the impact of daily stressors and fosters tranquility.
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